3/3/24

Since the calendar turned to March, I find myself recalling fond memories of a beloved patient I got to know for nearly a year and a half through hospice volunteering. This inspiring woman, who died last March, exhibited tremendous grace dealing with the debilitating effects of ALS. 

One of my favorite memories is when she was learning to use amazing technology that allowed her to communicate despite having lost the ability to speak or use her hands. Suddenly, she could now “type” using her eyeballs with a specific device. 

Watching her type with eyes was mind blowing in and of itself. What really blew me away though was the first sentiment she chose to communicate, which was “Welcome, Friends.” 

Here she was, a 50-something year old woman who had been a fantastic professional chef, wife, mother of a recent college graduate, leader in her church community, devoted daughter, beloved friend to MANY, international traveler, passionate hostess/entertainer (I believe she had worked with Martha Stewart for a time), and a witty and mischievous adventure seeker, with full cognitive abilities but was confined to a wheelchair (for many months now). She had lost nearly all functionality of her limbs and the muscles required to eat, and was rather frustrated that she could barely communicate.

Despite her justifiable upset, this Wonder Woman elected to make her first comment a warm greeting to me and her other friend who was visiting. 

I still marvel at this–how impressive and beautiful of her to extend graciousness with her first communication! It’s true that she was most delighted welcoming people into her home and cooking delicious food for them, but she was far from feeling delight at that particular time. 

This story echoes a teaching that I employ when I need to adjust/improve my perspective. Essentially, it encourages choosing specific words to express gratitude for relatively routine tasks/obligations/exchanges.

For instance, the teaching would invite me to replace, “I HAVE to pick up my son at XYZ [inconvenient] time,” with “I GET to pick up my son…” 

It’s a simple reframe, but the new connotation is substantial. 

My patient/friend essentially conveyed gratitude for our presence with her first eyeball-typed expression, “Welcome.” 

I’m pretty sure my own eyes popped from awe when I read her screen and felt the loving intention behind her choice of words. More importantly, my heart swelled and was left with an imprint that, with any luck, will reverberate through many more screens because her impactful memory has been shared.