4/29/24

​I love the phrase [so-and-so is] “living their best life.” Even when it’s expressed with a little sarcasm, this concept consistently delights me. 

Implicit in the idea is that people have multiple lives–not in terms of reincarnation or some other after-death interpretation, but within our actual lifespan on Earth. 

We hear about this often in our current culture, particularly when someone embarks on their second (or third, or fourth) “act.” While this terminology typically references a career change, it can also point to a new phase in a person’s development/evolution. 

I’m contemplating this phrase because I witness it in action often, when applying the latter interpretation. 

Through my work supporting people in grief, it is not uncommon for clients to go through an identity change of sorts; this happens because they realize that a big aspect of their grief is confronting the reality that they’re role and often they’re purpose, have fundamentally shifted with their significant loss. 

These difficult circumstances present the extreme case as to why a person may evolve, but extremes are often instructive. 

Personally, I have found such examples very helpful because, contrary to what we’re led to believe, the process involved with living one’s best life, i.e. emerging into a “next act,” can be very subtle and unglamorous. 

Let’s take the classic “Multitasker” as an example. This is an individual who leads much of her adult existence taking pride in her ability to juggle many tasks/obligations/functions simultaneously. (Perhaps she sounds familiar ;)  

Well, after getting to a certain point in her life, our beloved, self-identified Multitasker discovers the need for her body and mind to S-L-O-W down, which by default makes her start doing just one thing at a time (GASP!) 

Consequently, her identity starts to shift into that of a “Singletasker.” Of course, she encountered a lot of resistance (and some level of grief) in the process, but ultimately, she learned that not only does her brain prefer this new “act,” but also it helps her get closer to living her best life, because she experiences less stress.  

Effectively, people can quietly go through “software updates” often and become new versions of themselves, just as our devices periodically get upgraded while we sleep. 

Like the emergence of the Singletasker, people’s identity shifts can be unexciting to others and can arrive without fanfare. 

To the individual, however, it is a grand, yet subtle affair within one of their multiple best lives.