A Check-in Worth Checking Out

Perspective.
It’s a pretty significant thing.

And personal perspective, or the unique lens that each of us brings to a given situation can sometimes be a significantly distorted view of reality.

I was reminded of this twice in just the past couple of weeks.

During an online yoga class, my teacher offered me a direct instruction because apparently, my version of the given pose was rather “off.” 

After making her suggested adjustment, I definitely felt an improved difference in the pose. Initially though, I was very surprised that I needed correction because from my perspective, I had that pose NAILED.

Fast forward several days later to a conversation I had with a friend, who happens to be a tennis coach of some very competitive young players. 

She noted that when she films her players working on their serve, it never fails that the visual the players have in their head of how they look while serving is quite different from how they appear in the video. And of course, no filters are added to these recordings. 

These two instances drilled home for me the idea that it’s important to check in with our perception of things from time to time.  

Given that this reminder emerged during the season that emphasizes love and giving, it occurred to me that it’s probably worthwhile to perform a check-in about how we give and receive love.

This may seem like an odd topic on which to assess one’s perspective, but just as with yoga and tennis, misalignment often exists between how people think they best give and receive love and what actually happens. 

Therefore, applying the “observer” point of view can prove invaluable when it comes to love; it can help prevent distorted perspectives from taking root in relationships.

To the extent that the quality of our relationships is the biggest factor in determining our well-being and happiness (see relevant research), the power of gaining a fresh perspective on how we love is not to be underestimated.

While you could gain this vantage point by collecting information about your love practices directly from those important to you, I suspect that’s unlikely to happen.  

This is why therapist and author, Gary Chapman created simple and accessible quizzes (link to the quizzes is below) to help people determine their primary “Love Language.”

They are a wonderful, FREE tool that can help clarify what works well and not-so-well in relationships. In this regard, it truly is a gift that keeps on giving.  

Chapman has designed several quizzes so that a variety of audiences can be served, not just those in romantic/life-partner relationships. For instance, there’s a quiz for teens!

Reading Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages will only enhance this gift, serving as your own instructor/coach in the area of love.

Expanding our perspective on how we can best express and receive love is probably the ultimate way to harness the spirit of the holiday season.

So, click HERE to unwrap the gift that can help you NAIL the thing that is perpetually on everyone’s wish list: feeling loved.  

I’ll take that over perfecting a yoga pose or tennis serve any day!
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*If you take the quiz and want to discuss your results, let’s chat!